I’m Fat And I’m A Gamer

Desirai Labrada

Did you think I wasn’t aware that I was overweight? That I’ve never looked in the mirror? That I’ve never gotten on a scale?

I’m currently 238 lbs, which is 12 less than I used to be. At my heaviest I was 254 lbs and it felt awful. It’s taken me quite a bit of courage to admit it, but I’m not ashamed. Do I wish I was thinner? Of course (carrying around this extra weight isn’t easy.) Do I want to be healthier? Absolutely. But I’m writing this post because I’m sick and tired of people making the association that I’m overweight because I’m a Gamer.

Sure gaming is a sedentary activity, but so are most office jobs. Do you ever hear people say ‘She works in an office. She must be fat.’ I know I don’t. So why does this happen with gaming?

I’m fat and I’m a gamer. But I’m not fat because I’m a gamer. Each is only one part of the whole that defines me. Being overweight is not one size fits all. People seem to think that just cause I’m fat I must eat a box of jelly donuts for every meal and that I never get off of my ass. I just sit on the couch and play video games. Well let me tell you, those people are wrong. As a matter of fact, gaming is probably one of the biggest reasons I’m able to get my exercise in. (Dance Central, Just Dance, Zumba, Your Shape, Nike Kinect… they are all awesome games)

Eating right and working out is a solution for A LOT of people, however it’s not that simple for me. I haven’t fully identified my obstacles yet, which is why I’ve been unable to find a solution to MY weight struggle. But either way, who are you to judge?

It was over four years ago that we announced the news of our Halo Themed Wedding. I was excited to tell the world I had met the love of my life and that we would be using our wedding to celebrate how we met while playing Halo 2. I’m going to be completely honest. The responses shocked me. I expected there to be haters. What I didn’t expect however was for every hater to say the same exact thing — “She’s fat.” Comment after comment after comment. I was so upset by it that I cried several times. Is that ALL people care about? That scares me. Cause see, here’s the thing, I’ve been the skinny girl. I bet you didn’t know that. I’ve had guys come onto me based only on my looks and let me tell you, that shit sucked too. I’ll take being loved for who I am over being wanted solely for my body ANY DAY. I feel lucky and honored to have found someone who loves me for me and not some stupid number on the scale.

I’m a mother, a loving wife, an educator, a Graphic/Web Designer, a friend, a crafter, a sister, a technology enthusiast, a gamer, an animal lover, a loyal, passionate, caring, and trustworthy person. Whether I’m 150 lbs or 350 lbs I’m still the same person on the inside. If all you see is a fat chick when you look at me, I honestly feel bad for you. You’re missing out on a friend to game with and a whole lot of awesome.

 

11 Comments

  1. Trish Persen says:
    12-02-2012 at 3:24 pm

    Desi,

    You are a beautiful, strong, funny, kind, giving women, and for those that do not see that, I feel bad for them because they have to make hurtful comments to fill a void missing in their lives. Keep on keeping on and be blessed.

    Trish

     
  2. Holly Humphreys Reyes says:
    12-02-2012 at 3:34 pm

    I love this article. You are a beautiful person and I love how you met your husband. If people cant see past a number to see who you are as a person, well F*(# them. They don’t deserve you as a friend. You are a blessing to so many.

     
  3. Laura says:
    12-02-2012 at 3:43 pm

    I LOVE that you bring up “skinny privilege.” It’s one of the worst things that I deal with, and crops up each time I see a picture of myself. In between kids I was a pants size 4-6, and now am more than double that. It’s truly horrifying to have one ideal of yourself in your mind and then see the reality in a photo.

     
  4. BLACKOUT says:
    12-02-2012 at 4:03 pm

    I love you guys sik. and for the record thats not what I seen when I seen your video of the halo wedding on the net. I think your a beautiful chick and if being overweight is all these people see then fuck their narrow minded lack of vision. Keep livin life how YOU want ans dont let others negative bullshit ever get you down.

     
  5. Cheyne says:
    12-02-2012 at 4:32 pm

    Lol, I was never a skinny kid. Been overweight my entire life. I think I broke 200 lbs by the end of middle school. I know my problems (late-night eating, not enough sleep, not enough water, not eating breakfast, not enough activity…) I just don’t care enough to work on correcting them. I do what makes me happy and could care less what other people think. As long as what I’m doing doesn’t hurt anyone, I don’t see why it’s of anyone’s concern whether I’m fat or thin. I know it’s unhealthy and dangerous to be so overweight (currently 275 lbs) but I’d rather die young and happy then old and miserable any day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for a fudgesicle…

     
  6. Ryokea says:
    12-02-2012 at 5:32 pm

    I’m a fat guy as well, though not nearly as bad as I used to be. I sort of got lazy around my early teen years and have paid for it. I’ve been gradually working up a more active lifestyle, but never once have I attributed my weight with the fact I play hours of video games.

     
  7. Sleepy says:
    12-02-2012 at 5:42 pm

    Thank you for saying what we all want to scream! I always feel like if you say you like games, you are either fat or you are asked if you are a booth girl. I’ve never been the heaviest in a group, but always much heavier than most at 200lbs give or take. I desperately want to do something, the doctors say there might be something wrong, but offer no solution insurance doesn’t reject. I am working on getting lighter, but it is a very long road with lots of road bumps, especially if your body isn’t into co-op mode. LOL I am so sorry the negative comments just reflected your weight – they are probably just people who have no idea what it is like to deal with these problems. You have someone that loves you just the way you are, that’s worth more than all the comments on the web.

    Now everyone out of the way, this “Fat girl” is going to burn up the dance floor at DDR!

     
  8. BlessedBlogger says:
    12-10-2012 at 9:42 am

    That was beautifully said. I’ve never been here before. I looked you up after seeing the Best Buy commercial. When I saw it I remember thinking two things: what a lovely way to meet your spouse, and wow, she’s so pretty. So it made me terribly sad to see that the first post when I found your blog was about strangers fat-shaming you. I’m a woman, a gamer and yes, overweight. Like you I wasn’t always fat and like you I’ve faced my fair share of insults for being a female gaming enthusiast. The important thing to remember is that these cowards who attack you from the anonymity of their computers aren’t doing so because of anything you did/didn’t do. They attack you because you’re happy and making you feel small, taking your happiness away, makes them feel powerful. Their self-esteem is so low that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to tear someone else down. Don’t let them. You’re beautiful at any size and more importantly, you’re a well rounded person with a fulfilling life and people who love and appreciate you. That’s something they don’t have and likely never will considering their behavior.

     
  9. SickNdehed says:
    12-10-2012 at 8:22 pm

    Hi BlessedBlogger! It’s such a pleasant surprise to hear that people are looking us up after seeing the commercial. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by, but even more so for taking the time to share your thoughts on this post. It means a lot to me.

    Hope to see you around in the future. 🙂

     
  10. KingOfGods says:
    12-18-2012 at 9:23 pm

    It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like this. I’m in the same boat a gamer that has always been heavy. a few years back I injured my my leg and as a result suffer from severe nerve damage in that leg. The injury slowed me down a lot and my weight ballooned. At my current weight, it is incredibly hard to move around like I used to.

    A year ago I met the love of my life and we are talking marriage. She loves me for me and not a number on a scale but I’m tipping the scales at close to 390 right now and something needs to be done. I’m 34, I want kids and I’m at a point where I know I can’t live like this anymore.

     
  11. geophf says:
    07-16-2013 at 6:45 am

    Retweeted (@geophf): People can be so judgmental, … I’m glad that people can also be courageous in the face of judgment. http://amatchmadeinhalo.com/2012/12/im-fat-and-im-a-gamer/

    Dear Sic, Bless you. Thank you for coming out on both sides. It can hard to be judged by others without being given the chance to be who you are. I love it when a person can see themselves as beautiful, and I love it when others see them as beautiful, too. I loved your post. It also breaks my heart when a person sees themselves as ugly or incapable or unloved, because they choose to listen to what they think other people are thinking, or they hear the callous words coming out of other people’s mouths, and they believe them.

    You’re a mom and a wife and a gamer and a member of society, and you’re yourself, and nobody can be that for you nor take it from you, either. You’re here, you’re beautiful, and you wrote that, and touched hearts that needed to hear what they knew in their hearts wasn’t right, wasn’t fair, wasn’t kind. And they knew that they could be loved, that they are lovable, if they just got the chance. And they saw your post, and saw you take your beauty as yours, and hoped.

    God, this is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it, and giving others hope that they can see the person in the mirror as loved and beautiful, too.

    love, geophf

     

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