Married Gamers… that is what PsychoVandal and I wish to be. I’ve actually found myself reading a lot about marriage and relationships lately. I guess knowing how to keep my partner happy through years of marriage are important to me. PsychoVandal and I both agreed that getting married was something we only wanted to do once. I’m sure you think that sounds like common sense but marriage statistics today tell a completely different story. So here are a few tips for helping your relationship which you may or may not already know about:

1. Accept each other for who you are – If you’re constantly asking your partner to change their style of music, the way they dress, who their friends are, or to grow up and stop playing video games, chances are this person is not for you. Asking someone to change everything about themselves to accommodate you not only makes no sense, but it’s unhealthy and draining for both parties. Wouldn’t it make more sense to spend that same energy finding someone who already IS all that? I’ve heard far too many stories that begin with “My wife gets upset when I play video games…” The misery these poor men have to endure! :Sigh: It brings a tear to my eye every time.

2. Give Each Other Space – You may not think so, but everyone needs time to recharge their batteries. Being by yourself is important because it helps you learn about yourself. If you know who you are and what you like, you’re less likely to be manipulated by the person that only wants to change you (see #1). Additionally, spending time apart actually helps you appreciate the time you spend together. You learn not only to understand the relationship you’re in, but also the relationships you share with friends and family. Having you’re own friends is EXTREMELY important. When you each have your own friends it helps facilitate spending time apart.

3. Communication – Here’s a big one. Anyone that’s close to me has to know how true this is. I have TONS of wacky unbelievable stories which all leave people asking “What?!?! How is that possible?!?! How did you convince them to be ok with that?!?!? And they weren’t upset!?!?” The answer is communication. From the outside it may seem like I have some insane mind control powers but the truth is I know how to effectively communicate my thoughts and emotions. This is by no means an easy task! It’s taken me years to learn the art of effective communication (which I continue working on everyday) but I’m extremely glad I have. Effective communication means less arguments, understanding each other better, which leads to providing the things your partner wants and needs (and that = Happiness).

4. Sharing common interests – Equally as important as spending time apart is of course spending time together. They say opposites attract when it comes to relationships but does it also keep couples together? People are happy when they do things they enjoy (there goes that common sense again.) This is amplified when you share what you enjoy with someone you care about that enjoys it too! It’s difficult to strengthen your bond if you can’t find someone you like doing together. For PsychoVandal and I it’s cooking, crafting (don’t tell him I told you that) and of course gaming.

I can’t tell you how excited I was to find out we weren’t the only gamer couple out there. It was probably a little less than a month ago that I received an XBL message from MrsLeftyBrown. She apparently found me through a mutual friend on my list.

MrsLeftyBrown and her husband LeftyBrown have their own gaming website and weekly podcast; The Married Gamers. You can catch their live podcast on Saturdays at 7 pm EST on their U Stream Channel. I had the pleasure of listening to several of their podcasts and both Psycho and I thoroughly enjoy them. They even have a ‘Mailbag’ segment where they read and answer emails they’ve received… So I sent one.

PsychoVandal and I are mentioned in their 50th podcast! Listen to it here: http://www.themarriedgamers.net/?p=500

Be sure to check out their other great podcasts, and remember, couples that play together stay together! =)